A Cereas Dispute
by MilleFeuille
Summary: Axel catches Xemnas trying to make off with the last bowl of Froot Loops and that's when all hell breaks loose. Oneshot fic based on a really odd dream I had.


**AN**: Right, so this little oneshot was based off a dream I had about a half hour ago. Yeah, I just woke up from a nap. I love being on vacation. x3

**Disclaimer: **If I had any rights to Kingdom Hearts at all, there would've been more plot about Org XIII, and I would've made it possible to play through the game as them, which would've been really cool.

**Warnings: **Insane amounts of OOC, characters bashing each other, language, pure randomness. 

**A Cereas Dispute**

_----_

It was one of those rare days that the Superior decided that he would grace the dinning hall with his presence, bestow his greatness upon the lesser members and all other narcissistic analogies and metaphors like that. Being a man who lurked the halls till the wee hours of the morning, seeing No.1 at breakfast was an exceedingly rare occasion.

There were only a few things that would be cause enough for him to consume the first meal of the day with his members; 1) He had something semi-earth shattering to tell them, B) A new member had been introduced which he wanted to eyeball, or Pi) The local restaurants had threatened once more to tar and feather him if he came within 100 yards of their establishment.

So here he was, trudging his way around his members, whilst combing his fingers through his spikey birdlike hair with sleep still clinging to his eyes, making a bee-line for the pantry. He'd had a healthy amount of liquor the previous evening, Amaretto to be precise, so his mind was set on something light, something like cereal, which would possibly be seen very soon after once he offered up the contents of his stomach to the porcelain god, as he was feeling rather queasy, so he wouldn't torment himself by having to deal with a perfectly good breakfast being wasted.

However, whatever thoughts he was having were quickly abducted, strangled and nuked as his golden eyes connected with what looked like, no, could it be? Yes it was! A box of Froot Loops that, miraculously, hadn't been demolished in the morning raid! Perhaps there was a reason for it being here still, or rather, why it looked like someone had purposely tried to stack cans of beans and soup in front of it, but whatever that reason was, Xemnas allowed himself a slow easy smile.

For whatever reason, Froot Loops had become a recent favorite breakfast food among his members. He wasn't sure why, he was a little wary about eating a cereal that branded itself as insane clusters of circles, but after all, Froot Loops were gay Cheerios, so he had no place to question their logic.

Turning his head slowly to the long dinning table, content to find that no one was watching him and the usual commotion of morning time at the castle, complete with screaming, cursing, laughing, and a few soft sniffles from Demyx being teased was still in effect.

Very stealthily, stealthier than a stealth bomber sneaking up to stealthily bomb a small third world country for no reason at all, he snaked his gloved hand around the protective cans standing guard before the box, pushing them very carefully out of the way, and slowly pulled it out inch by tiny microscopic inch, pausing slightly as a jar of canned fruit was knocked over in the process. He snapped his head around to the table, waiting to be assailed by the slings and arrows of the horde, but apparently the noise had gone unnoticed.

After the task of extracting the thing was complete, he wrapped it in his arms and crab walked his way over to the meticulously stacked silverware and dishes, slowly picking up a bowl and went about the task of pouring cereal into the valley of white porcelain, which, despite the commotion, seemed entirely too loud to him. Hell, even his own measured breathing seemed too loud, so instead of giving himself a heart attack (which he wondered was still possible with the absence of a heart) through pouring the cereal straight from the box, he decided to pour it into his hand first and then carefully deposit it into the bowl. It would take him half a year, but at least this way he wouldn't attract too much attention.

Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about returning the box to its place, because it seemed that he'd managed to weasel out the last bowlful of the stuff. Another triumphant smile spread over his lips at the thought of being the one to spirit away the last denizens of Froot Loop Land into the bowels of his stomach, and it was a perfect last bowl of cereal as well. No broken pieces, no cereal dust, just pure, sweet, last bowl of cereal perfection.

He was going to enjoy this, bite after inhumanly slow bite (because Xemnas speaks very slowly, so it would only make sense for him to eat slowly.), but he would do it in the confines of his chambers while watching a recorded episode of House he hadn't gotten to finish due to inebriated circumstances.

"What-cha got there Superior?"

The smile died. Bliss Terminated. Self Destruct Sequence Initiated.

Xemnas turned to look down at the gloved hand over his shoulder, then over to the pair of brilliant emerald green eyes boring accusingly into his like a hot knife through butter. It figured Axel would be the first to get in his way. He always got in his way. That and he had a nose like a blood hound, or perhaps that was just a recent development as he seemed more like a member of the feline family then one related to man's best friend.

"What do I have where, No.8?" He said softly, giving him a sarcastically sweet smile as he tried to slowly hide the bowl beneath his robe. Axel's hand caught his as he pulled the bowl away, which received a very venomous glare from the Superior. He didn't like being touched, and he especially didn't like being grabbed at either.

"That bowl of," Axel paused and turned his head back towards the table. "FROOT LOOPS!" Then turned back to Xemnas. "You've got in your hands," he said and eyed the empty box then Xemnas once more. "And it looks like it's the…" Back to face the table again. "LAST BOWL OF FROOT LOOPS!"

All the heads at the table shot up and over to the voice calling out and hooking their attention, looking like a group of vigilant deer after sensing the approach of a predatory threat before they all scrambled up and away from the table.

If looks could kill, Axel would've had a hole in his head the size of a Hummer, but he calmly brushed off his superior's irate eye twitching with a smile that silently broadcasted the message _"Ha! I caught you red handed, you sneaky bastard."_

Reflexively, Xemnas backed away from Axel towards the center of the room as the red head advanced on him, thinking he'd just portal his way to the Pride Lands or something to eat his prize without anymore interruption, but alas, it wasn't to be.

"What's this about the last bowl of Froot Loops?" Came Luxord's voice from his left.

"What?! Who?! Whose got the last bowl?!" Demyx came scrambling over from between Luxord's legs, just to get a closer look at the one getting away with murder.

"Damnit…Thought I'd hidden it better," muttered Zexion irritably as he wondered how anyone could've seen the box through his carefully constructed wall of canned foods. He hadn't taken into consideration that he was one of the shortest members, so of course anyone who happened to be his size wouldn't have been able to see the box. As for everyone else who wasn't Roxas, seeing the box wouldn't have been that difficult. Plan failed. Cloaked Schemer: 0. Box of Froot Loops: 1.

"Come on Xemnas," Axel mocked as he circled around him like a hawk, completely ignoring the fact that Xemnas was probably going to slap him every which way till Sunday for this. "Tell them." He paused before him, arms folded, head tilted up and to one side. "Tell them how you were going to make off with the _last bowl_ of Froot Loops and not tell _anyone_ about it."

Xemnas growled, but regained his composure none the less, placing a hand on his hip, cradling the bowl in the other and smiled thinly. "I don't have to answer for anything. I _am _The Superior after all. If I decide I deserve the last bowl of Froot Loops, then I have the authority to make that conjecture."

"Bullshit!" Larxene snapped and before he could register the movement, the blonde had plucked if from his hand and was holding it to her chest like an infant holds a treasured doll. "If anyone deserves the last bowl it's me." She tossed her head a little and smirked. "After all, I am the only girl in this clubhouse. My delicate needs have to be catered to."

"Yes, delicate, that's exactly the word to describe you." Saix was looking at her as if he was trying not to vomit from hearing her make that statement about herself.

"I _am_ delicate!" She snapped, stomping her foot insistently. "And sensitive and-"

"Fucking crazy," Roxas interrupted her, which was long enough for him to walk beneath her raised hand and snatch the bowl from her possession. "You're loopy enough as it is, you don't need to be eating these." He ignored the look of promised death he received and went on. "I think the sanest of us all should get the last bowl-"

"Which would be me," Demyx cut in, reaching over Roxas' head and taking it from him with a smile so sweet it could turn sour milk to ice cream. "I'm pretty sure I'm the sanest of you bunch, and being an island of sense in a sea of insensibility, I need to keep my energy up so I can deal with you all."

"Thus said the wuss," Marluxia scoffed rolling his eyes.

For about two seconds, Demyx looked like he was about to combust and get Demyx pieces on him, but instead growled at No.11, which strangely came out as a purring sort of sound. "I am _not _a wuss!"

"Uh…Yes, you are," Marluxia retorted, flicking his wrist. "Only a wuss would come up with some half-baked metaphorical excuse dipped in lameness."

"Metaphors are _not_ lame!" He shouted, getting an odd look from Marluxia who wondered if he even heard all of what he'd just said to him. "Besides," Demyx continued, eyeing the peach haired man. "You certainly don't need any Froot Loops Mister Flamboyant; you're pretty fruity all on your own."

A vein popped out in the peach haired mans head, throbbing every once in a while as he twitched an eyebrow. "Watch it water boy."

"Or what? You gonna flower me to death?" Demyx snickered.

Marluxia raised an eyebrow and gave him a smile that was none to sweet. "Sure, you just keep talking like that sweetheart, but don't be surprised when you wake up naked in a corn field wondering why your ass is bleeding."

Demyx cringed a little and backed away into someone else, and turned around to see Saix staring blankly down at him, arms folded loosely over his chest and standing with a bit of a slouch. Being stared down at was always an uncomfortable feeling for anyone, but this was a Saix stare, and Saix stares could tip to the extreme actions of Total Annihilation Mode, or "Why Thank You Little Lap-Bitch For Being So Agreeable" Sarcasm Mode in two shakes of a lambs tail. Neither was a good extreme, but Demyx decided to play the role of lap bitch and quickly extended the bowl to the blue haired Nobody, head held down and whining pitifully for doing so.

"Why thank you for being so agreeable," Saix said calmly, accepting the bowl from Demyx with a smirk. Now that it was in his possession, he just dared anyone to take this bowl from him, a Berserker, and see if they could live to tell the tale of it. It was one of the perks of being a semi-wild animal, nobody messed with you all that much.

He was feeling pretty good about winning this round of Fight for the Last Bowl, when a dark shadow loomed over him causing his smirk to fade as a hand the size of a baseball mitt clapped down on his shoulder.

He slowly looked down at the hand, then let his eyes travel up the massive arm to the equally massive shoulder and then to the owners thick neck and then finally to his head. Lexaeus gave the smaller man a very deliberate smile, and everyone watched the color drain from the Berserkers face, who then slowly handed the bowl to The Incredible Hulk as he turned away with a dark expression on his face, muttering something incoherent.

Saix might've been a formidable person when under the influence of Ape Crazy mode, but no amount of crazy diluted the fact that Lexaeus was a very big man, with big arms and big hands. Today didn't seem like a good day to have your skull crushed.

Quite pleased with himself that he hadn't needed to bear slap the blue haired man into relinquishing the bowl to his possession, Lexaeus was about to turn to leave when he was faced by a wall of organized discontent. He looked among the members like he wasn't sure why they all seemed so suddenly unhappy with him and raised a questioning hand. "What?" He said innocently. "I'm the biggest, I eat the most, I get the last bowl."

"You incorrigible liar," Vexen said raising an unamused eyebrow. "I've seen you eat, and despite your aforementioned claims of generous consumption of food substances, I am most certainly positive that even Zexion could consume much more than you claim to be able to, good sir."

There was a moment of silence as everyone sort of stared at the blonde man, who shifted uncomfortable and frowned. "What?"

"Think you could give us a translation of that Xemnas?" Luxord said turning to his leader and rubbing at the side of his nose.

Xemnas rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Yes, because it's so difficult a sentence for you to understand, that you would require someone of greater scholastic level to break it down for your mind to process."

"See? People who use big words, know what other people who use big words are talking about," the Gambler replied sensibly. Xemnas was the only one who articulated his words so….articulately, that of course he'd know what the hell Vexen had just said.

"…"

"What?!"

"Nothing, I'll just wait until you realize you've admitted enough about your IQ to the rest of us."

"What's my IQ got anything to do with this?"

"Oh for the love of Pete!" Which is a seriously creepy statement in the Kingdom Hearts world. "Give me that bowl," Xaldin stalked over and snatched it from Lexaeus while he was preoccupied with snickering at Luxord for once more unwittingly admitting his momentary stupidity.

"If this bowl's going to be given to the largest of us, then its going to have to be decided between The Hulk and myself," Xaldin stated calmly.

"Stop calling me that!" The brown haired giant snapped, grabbing his prize back from the dark haired man, then glared at him as he shuffled away. "I don't like it and makes me angry…You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

To that, Xaldin raised an eyebrow, linked his arms loosely behind his back and paced forward with an unreadable look in his deep blue eyes. "You know what else you wouldn't like?"

"What?"

"A spear in the face."

Larxene turned to look down at Axel as he'd suddenly dropped into a crouched position on the floor, making an eerie beaten animal sort of sound, as he cupped a hand to his throat and hugged himself with his other arm, rocking himself slowly and looking to be on the verge of a panic attack. _Well, that explains why he's been avoiding Xaldin for the past few weeks. _

Now in possession of the Froot Loops that Lexaeus so _graciously _handed over to him, Xaldin gave a challenging smirk to anyone who thought they could get this damn bowl now. Ha! The threat of pointy objects was always a winner, and it seemed as if this small conflict was decided when the Lancer started spazzing around oddly and broke into a sudden fit of laughter as he danced in place.

Those around him backed slowly away from the suddenly crazed man as he spun around a little, reaching his free hand around his back as he tried to grasp the thing scurrying up his sides and messing with his ticklish spot. That was when Demyx let out a horrified scream only heard in old movies and jabbed a finger at the flailing man.

"OhmygodXaldin! There's a mobile tumor on your back!"

"A mobile what?" He said through a fit of laughter, and then he felt it, a large lump working its way up his spine. He froze in horror and craned his neck away as something wormed up between the fabric of his coat and skin, until a large clump of spiky blonde something popped up on the left side of his open collar and two bright blue eyes glared into his.

Grinning impishly, Roxas proceeded to squirm his way out of the elder members coat through the collar, clambered down the length of his arm, snatched the bowl from his grasp and dropped onto the floor with a smug look on his face as he straightened his robe.

"Didn't see that coming, did'ja? Ya Rastafarian knife juggler."

"You…you just…you just popped out of his clothes," Zexion said twitching an eye as he took a moment to relieve that famous scene in Aliens where the thing popped out of the guy's stomach.

"Told you he was a monkey. Pay up." Luxord stated with a victorious smile, nudging Saix' shoulder and offering out his hand to receive his winnings.

"Fine, I still say he's a rodent," Saix grumbled as he handed his munny to the gambler.

"That's nastiness on so many levels," Marluxia said wrinkling his nose. "You're not getting near me till you take a bath and scrub the Xaldin-nast off yourself. Lord knows what he's got goin on under that robe."

"Shut up fairy. I take baths. Just because I don't smell like an assortment of fruits doesn't mean that I don't keep myself clean."

"Pfft! Says the man with the dreds."

"Well, I say you're both gay; _you_ for being a flowery mage man who smells edible and _you_ for braiding your hair and having chops" Roxas said as he ducked Xaldin's hand as he grabbed for him, scurried between his legs and went to stand on a chair, tossing the bowl between his hands as he faced the group.

"That and I've got the prize and you guys don't. Besides, I'm the youngest _and _the smallest," he nodded decisively cradling the bowl in his arms. "I'm a growing boy. I gotta get in a balanced diet or I'll end up lookin like Axel."

"Why _wouldn't_ you want to look like me," came the red-head's response as he flaunted himself a bit.

"No, really…" Roxas frowned and quirked one side of his mouth up. "I'm not into lookin like a bulimic porcupine whose mother had inappropriate relations with a cat."

A chorus of 'Oooo's' circulated around the room as Axel glared up at Roxas, trying to think of a comeback that would match that sort of burn, but found that it wasn't coming fast enough to him and just went with a good old fashioned 'Finger' instead.

"The youngest hn, well then that would obviously have to be myself wouldn't it." Zexion appeared at Roxas' side, managing to stand on the same chair as he was without crowding him and snatched the bowl from him.

"Pfft! As if!" Roxas grabbed the bowl back from him. "You're like, 17 or something! You look like an emo, and emo's are angst ridden teens, and angst ridden teens are usually 17 years old and up, so therefore you are older than me, and I win, because I'm the youngest!"

Zexion glowered a bit. He hated it when people played the Emo card against him. But he was slightly surprised at finding that Roxas had sort of guessed he was older than him as they didn't look that far apart in age. But he wasn't done yet, as the thin smile on his face provided, and even if he couldn't win with age, he had other things up his sleeve that he could needle him with. Zexion knew things about the blonde boy, he knew things that would be enough to get him to hand over that bowl of Froot Loops without him needing to man handle it from him, or, rather, boy handle it from him.

"Oh of course, my mistake, you most certainly _have _to be the youngest, the baby of us all, because only a baby we-"

"Shut up Zexion!" Roxas cut him off suddenly as his eyes went wide, slapping a hand over his mouth and looking like he was on the verge of going into conniptions. He knew what he was going to leak to the group, and it was the kind of thing that was on the borderline of "Too Embarrasing for Words" and "Holy Hell! You Still Do That Sort of Thing at Your Age?"

"Only a baby would what?" Larxene said as she stepped closer to the two, feeling that Zexion was about to reveal a rather embarrassing bit of black mail about the little monkey brat that she could use to later belittle him.

Zexion tugged the profusely sweating blonde boy's hand away from his mouth with a smile and turned to the advancing sadist. "I was going to say, only a baby would-"

"Gaaaaaaahhhh! Shut the hell up Zexion!!"

"-wet his-"

"DEMYX FUCKS HIS CLONES!!"

"-be-…Wait _what?!_"

"KahgehwaoePfft! Wha-wha-what?!" Demyx looked like a sheep that'd just been shot at by its loving master, and looked frantically around himself at the eyes suddenly focused in on him with a kind of interest he'd rather not have. "I-I- I do _not_!!-"

"He does too! I've seen him! I've seen him! I caught him doin the nasty up on the roof with three water clones two days ago!" Roxas jumped up and down, pointing an accusing finger at the Nocturne, pleased that the attention was finally off him.

"Three?!" Larxene said with a very sadistic sort of Larxene grin as she rolled a few unclean things around in her head.

"That's a lot of water fucking Demyx," Xaldin said with a smile that was both slightly repulsed and entirely too fascinated by the idea to really care if it was creepy. "I'm not so sure that water is the best kind of lubricant, but hey, if that's what you're into..."

"_Noooo!_ I did no such thing! And I don't _do _any such thing! And I will _never _do any such thing! I wasn't even in my room two days ago! I was with Vexen!" Demyx cried, looking pleadingly to the academic, who shrugged and nodded to the claim.

"There is truth to his words. He requested that I assist him in completing Sunday's crossword puzzle." He paused and looked to one side, a hand raised to his chin. "Although, that _was_ two days ago, I cannot vouch for your activities from then on."

"VEXEN!?"

Saix smirked and tilted his head to one side in amusement. "It's always the innocent looking ones with the dirty habits…right Larxene?"

"What? We've all got our dirty little habits…You interested in seein a few of em big boy?" She said tilting her head to one side, giving him an alluring smirk and a mock flirty sort of wink. She knew that smile alone would be enough to make his skin crawl for days.

Saix had a brief mental seizure and turned away from her and that smile that promised all sorts of things that he wasn't that in to finding out what they happened to be. Her dirty habits scared him a little. He didn't want to know anything about her habits, both dirty and clean if he could possibly help it.

Demyx was on the verge of tears at being accused of screwing his clones, yet again, which he was trying to force down as best as his little watery heart could, because if he couldn't then he'd never get rid of his cry baby nickname if he succumbed to wussiness and let it all out, despite the unfairness of the situation.

"And this is why I can't allow the youngest to decide things," Xemnas said from behind the small blonde boy on the chair, startling him enough for the bowl to be taken from him in a gracefully smooth motion. "It's only logical that the eldest," he said pointing blatantly to himself. "Are given the burden of consuming the last bowl of cereal."

"That's true isn't it, you just have to be the oldest out of all of us Xemnas," Marluxia added, tossing his head lightly and fixing him with a sweet smile. "You're the only one here with a head full of white hair."

Xemnas' face dropped considerably at that, and he narrowed his golden eyes at the comment, but Marluxia ignored it and continued on anyway.

"Gotta feed poor old Xemnas, poor decrepit Xemnas," he slapped a hand down on No.1's shoulder and gave him a look of mock pity. "Oh, don't look so sad Xemnas, even if you can't find your dentures, I'm sure you can soak that stuff in milk for two hours and just swallow it all down in a mushy goby mess."

"At least I don't take measures to hide my age," Xemnas added, raising his eyebrows a touch as Marluxia eyed him trying to figure out where he was going with that.

"I _don't_ hide my age."

"Right, and I suppose that peach colored hair of yours is natural?"

"It _is_ natural," he said reaching a hand up to feel at the strands framing his face as if he wasn't sure if they were still there.

"Mhm, so then what's this?" Xemnas said absently, pointing to a non existent spot at the crown of Marluxia's head, knowing that that would be enough to make him paranoid for a few minutes.

"What? Where? Where? I can't see anything? Where is it?"

"Right there," Xemnas pressed his finger on a spot on the man's head. "You don't see that? It's about the size of my fist, how are you missing that?"

"See what Xemnas, see what?! I don't see anything!!"

"My, and such a huge patch of it too," Xemnas shook his head worriedly clicking his tongue. "You'll have a hell of a time covering that up."

"_Why are you poisoning my mind, you evil little shit!!_" Marluxia said letting out a high pitched sound of frustration as he clawed at his head in search of the spot of doom infecting his cranium.

"Screw this," Axel huffed, scampering forward and snatched the bowl from Xemnas. "If were talkin hair here, _I _should get the last bowl because of it."

"What's your hair got anything to do with it?" Lexaeus raised an eyebrow.

" 'Cause my hair defies gravity…"

"And?"

"…And I can stab you with it!"

"So can Xemnas and myself," Saix said in response. "But you don't see us making that sort of idiotic claim with which to get at that bowl."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Dude…that's because _he _looks like a bird, and _you've_ got a mullet, a mullet doesn't even count. You're hair's not even in the same hairstyle category as mine."

"I don't look like a bird," Xemnas muttered mournfully, carefully fingering the strands of spiky hair sweeping back over the tops of his ears.

"I do _not _have a mullet," Saix growled lightly but reached a hand back to poke at his blue hair anyway.

"He doesn't have a mullet, but I do!" Demyx said, squirming under Axel's arm and plucked the bowl from his hand. He looked like he was over being accused of screwing clones now, and was back to prove a point backed with no evidence along with the rest of the group. "I'm the only one here with a respectable mullet, so I deserve the last bowl of Froot Loops."

"Since when did mullets become respectable?" Vexen inquired with amusement.

"Shut up Vexen. I'm mad at you. I was gonna share the last bowl of Froot Loops with you, but you can forget it now buster."

"Oh gracious me, what ever will I do," he said dramatically, raising the back of one hand to his head as he feigned a look of near fainting.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Shakespeare. You won't be laughin when I'm munchin Froot Loops while you're stuck in a glass tank of water munchin Fish Flakes!"

"I'll assume that that was your hopeless attempt at a threat of some sort."

"Alright hold it, hold it! Were getting nowhere here fellas," Luxord interjected and went to stand somewhere in the middle of the crowd. "Now look, we'll be here all morning makin up excuses as to why each of us deserves the last bowl of Froot Loops. Now we can all keep this up till were blue in our faces, _or_ we can decide this in a more conventional and much more sensible fashion."

"I saw we draw straws."

"Hell no, not if you're the one cutting 'em Xaldin," Axel said eyeing him. "I say we light cigarettes, put them out on our flesh and whoever doesn't cry about it gets the last bowl."

"And here I thought I was the only sadist," Larxene quipped.

"Arm wrestling," Lexaeus stated firmly crossing his arms over his broad chest. "That's the do all end all in this situation."

"No, no, no! It has to be something that doesn't require any tests of strength," Luxord said shaking his head.

"What about a singing contest?" Demyx added happily. "That doesn't require strength, and anybody can sing!"

"I like that idea," Marluxia responded, brightening up considerably and forgetting about the infectious spot lurking somewhere on his head as he clasped his hands together. "Let's do that! It can't be that hard for all of you to come up with something reasonable to sing. I already know what I'm planning to sing myself actually."

"Eh…." Demyx eyed the peach haired man warily and scratched at his head. "Or, maybe we should do something else…"

The flower mage narrowed his eyes irritably at the musician. "What's wrong with a singing contest? That wasn't such a bad idea."

"I think what he's too nice to say, Marluxia," Xemnas began pressing a hand to his shoulder. "Is that he doesn't want to hear you singing anything from Cher."

"And what's wrong with Cher?" Marluxia challenged irritably.

"Cher's a man," Roxas added in from his place on the edge of the table swinging his legs lazily and leaning back on his hands.

"Cher is _not _a man."

"Right, and next you'll be telling us you're not a woman."

"I'm _not _a woman," Marluxia said stalking over to the boy, leaning down to his level, glaring daggers, swords and bull horns at the kid. "And I've got something in my pants I can shove in your mouth to prove it."

"Come on people, focus, focus!" Luxord clapped to gather their attention once more before placing a hand on his hip and raising the other to wave at the air. "We're not doing arm wrestling, singing, or anything that allows us to utilize any part of our body that would give any of us a greater advantage over anyone else. We're going to do this by using external means."

"Is this speech going anywhere?"

"What external means are you proposing blondie?"

"I'm proposing to settle this little dispute with a simple game of cards."

Luxord cringed and jammed his fingers in his ears as the room was suffocated in a long continuous drabble of loud angry noises, a few of which he picked out to be colorful words, but ultimately went unheard to the blonde as he tried to conserve what was left of his hearing. He waited a little until he couldn't hear so many of their screams and curses before pulling a finger out of his ear and shrugging innocently.

"What?!"

"What nothing you sneaky bastard!" Marluxia spat angrily. "You think we all fell off the turnip truck yesterday?! Only an idiot with a brain tumor would settle something over a game of cards with you!"

Luxord quirked an eyebrow and raised a hand to his chin, rubbing his short blonde beard with a contemplative finger. "You still mad about losing that game of strip poker, aren't you?"

"I am_ not._"

"Hn, doesn't sound like it, or are you still mad about not being able to find your underwear?"

"Shut up! I'll vine rape you!"

"So _that's _whose thong was hanging in the hallway," Xaldin said aloud tilting his head to the ceiling, then over to Larxene. "I thought those were yours nailed up there."

"Mine?" She said jerking her head away from him, frowned a little, and then eyed him questioningly. "What color were they?"

"Violet I think…yes, violet with blue flowers and a lace sort of border."

"No, not mine. I'm not a flowery sort of girl. Has to be Marlu's."

"_Goddamn you Luxord!!_"

Luxord managed to dodge a large plate as it hurtled towards him while still keeping that cheeky grin on his face. "Oh come on now, like we all didn't know what you wore under that robe."

"No! Nobody knows!" Marluxia fumed, picking up another dish and chucking it at him. "I'd have to be traipsing around stark naked for _anyone_ to know!"

"I knew," Axel said with a feline smile.

"I knew," Saix seconded with a repulsed sort of twitch to his eye.

"I knew," Xemnas added as well, rubbing the back of a finger along his jaw.

"I didn't know," Demyx said sheepishly. "And that's more than I ever want to know about any of you ever again."

"Good! Now you know!" Marluxia stalked over and snatched the bowl from Demyx. "And seeing as I'm the only one wearing a thong, _I _get the last bowl of Froot Loops!"

"Ah, ah, ah, you're the only _man _wearing a thong," Larxene slipped in and rescued the bowl from Marluxia's grasp with a smug smile.

"Gimme that bowl!" Axel shoved his way over and snatched it from Larxene. "We're not deciding this over underwear! All sorts of weird shit's gonna surface that's going to give us all nightmares. I'm taking the last bowl! And that's that!"

"Why?"

" 'Cause my hips are the shapeliest and you can't lie about that." He said with a grin and placed a hand on one of his abnormally proportioned hips…at least on a man anyway.

"Okay Shakira," Larxene said rolling her eyes and grabbed the bowl back from him. "But you're hips are unnaturally shapely. I'm a woman, therefore my hips are naturally shapely, so I'm getting the last bowl."

"Give me that, _I'm_ getting the last bowl!" Vexen said retrieving the bowl from Larxene, wondering if perhaps she would kill him later for wrenching it from her hands. She held grudges longer than anyone he'd ever known, well, Saix was the only one he could think of that could compete with her, but he was more of a hands on type of person when it came to holding a grudge.

"Yeah? And why's that? And keep it in a language that Luxord can understand." She ignored the F-bomb that the Englishman dropped on her.

"Because I'm the only one here who can scare people with The Evil Eye." And thus he proceeded to narrow one of his eyes and make the other abnormally large and dilated, pasting a twistedly creepified grin on his face, which gave him a Lvl.60 Mad Scientist look to which Larxene shut her eyes and cringed, turning her head this way and that and waved her hands frantically before her.

"Ugh! Alright! Alright! Good god man, point proven! Just stop doing that!"

"Hey." Vexen broke out of his Creepy Man face to look up at the man looming behind him. "…don't ever do that again," Lexaeus said with a quizzical expression focused on the blonde academic, who found himself with a lack of bowl, to which said bowl had been relocated to the large man standing behind him still twitching slightly from his display. "I think maybe…we should give the last bowl to the nicest of us all."

"Which would obviously have to be me." Xemnas said folding his arms loosely over his chest.

"Riiiight, because you're so sweet and nice, you make sugar taste sour," Saix scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

"I _am_ nice," Xemnas insisted calmly, narrowing his eyes. "If I wasn't nice I would've killed you all off by now out of the need to contain my sanity."

"Gimme that bowl Lex," Axel said taking it carefully from the man, not wanting to have him retaliate and crush his spleen, and rolled the white dish between his hands. "If anyone's the nicest of us all here…it's you," he said stretching his hand out to offer it to the one before him.

"Me?" Demyx pointed to himself, blinking a bit stupidly, then tried to hide the small blush of embarrassment bleeding into his face with a smile and a bit of a laugh as he accepted the bowl. "My…well…th-thank you Axel…but I think I want you to have it Xaldin."

"Me?" Xaldin raised a confused eyebrow, wondering if maybe there was some string attached to it that he couldn't see too clearly. But, well, it was Demyx, he was pretty sure he didn't have to worry about having any strings attached to any offers from the blonde musician.

"Why me?" He inquired warily, aware that even if it was Demyx offering the bowl, the blonde was entitled to having his own devious moments. No one here was a model citizen anyway.

"Because you've been really nice to me, silly! You've helped me out a whole bunch since I came here!" He looked down at the Froot Loops in his hands then brought his head back up to the Lancer, giving him that too-too sweet smile of his. "I've been trying to find a way to thank you anyway, so here, you get the last bowl!"

"Well, thank you, I suppose," he said slowly taking the bowl from the effervescent youth, rolling it slightly in thought, then handed it over to Larxene. "Here."

"Here?"

"Yes, you have it."

"Why me?"

"Because you're Larxene."

There was a brief pause in that Kodak moment, and Larxene let an uncharacteristically warm smile free of sadistic intent spread over her face as she looked curiously up at the Lancer, wondering if there was some hidden reason for this random bit of generosity.

"Oh that's rich," Luxord said throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Trust the people with the pointy objects to be nice to each other and not the rest of us."

"Shut up or I'll stab you!!" Larxene and Xaldin said in unison, forcing the Gambler back a few steps to hide behind Saix, who tried to push him out of his space and gave up after the blonde had suctioned onto his arm.

"I still say I deserve the last bowl," Vexen said removing the bowl from Larxene's hand in her distraction. She snapped her head to him and paused as he smiled, backing away from him a little worried that he'd give her the Evil Eye again. "And if it doesn't please anyone here that I have the last bowl, you may receive it by challenging me to a game of Scrabble."

"Oh right, because that's so incredibly fair," Zexion grumbled stalking up to him and tried to take it from him, only to find that his arms wouldn't reach the bowl as it was brought over the other mans head and he huffed, crossing his arms. "Besides, everyone knows you'll win. You're the only one that can think up long words other than Xemnas."

"Oh please, it isn't that difficult to best me at Scrabble." He said with a smirk. "Just because the only words you can think up, dear Zexion, are poetry, MCR, razors, and Zoloft, doesn't mean the rest of us don't have a chance at beating me."

Another illegal use of the Emo card. This was starting to get really personal. Glowering slightly, he trudged over to Larxene and dug around in her robes, who was too surprised at being groped and grabbed at by Zexion of all people to retaliate, and came out with one of her knives, narrowing his eyes challengingly at the blonde offender.

"Well fine. If I'm so emo I should get that damn bowl! Because if you don't I'll cut myself, write horrible self-pitying poetry about how my life sucks and no one loves me and sing about it outside your room for the next six months."

Lexaeus actually cringed at that. Six months of that would drive him to suicide, and he wasn't even a suicide-ey sort of person. Not only that, he also didn't want to hear Zexion singing that drabble either. He had an uncanny way of making his voice carry, especially with the way the halls echoed around here.

Vexen didn't look like he wanted that either, judging by the way his eye kept twitching. He eventually handed over the bowl to Zexion, which was promptly intercepted by Xemnas, or rather his disembodied hand as it sucked the bowl back into the portal and into the owners grasp.

"I still say that I get the last bowl of Froot Loops. Not only am I the one who poured the last bowl, I am also the eldest, technically speaking, the first of us, the only one with white hair, the one who holds control of Nothingness, _and _the only one can counter Vexen's Evil Eye with a Pedo Smile."

Roxas hopped up on a chair and tried once more to take it from him as Marluxia did the same. "I don't think being able to do a Pedo Smile is something to be proud of Xemnas," the peach haired man stated, reaching around the white haired man for the bowl and was stopped by his gloved finger in his face.

"Don't push me Marly…You know I'll do it."

"Eck." Marluxia twitched and slinked back away from the man, not wanting to be subjected to that look of unhealthy Lolita-love, nor did anyone else wish for that look for that matter. Later on, when all this was finished, there would be a lot of unanswered questions as to why Xemnas was so good at doing that smile only he could manage to do.

"And you," he said to Roxas pulling the bowl out of his reach and holding the blonde's shoulder with one hand. "Quite groping at my arm or I'll turn you into a Dusk."

"Whatever Merlin," Roxas said with a grunt, reaching for the bowl anyway. "You can't turn me or anyone else here into anything….can you?"

"Can I?"

"You…you can't turn people into Dusks…can you…"

"Maybe I can."

"You can?"

"Maybe…Would you like to find out?"

"N-Naw, I'm cool thanks."

"Then get off my chest."

Xemnas twitched to one side as a finger prodded lightly and mercilessly at his neck, forcing a string of sudden giggles out of him, allowing the bowl to drop into Saix' outstretched hand as he smirked, glad that he'd waited to be able to use Xemnas' ticklish spot against him. "You may be the Superior, but I say I get this bowl of cereal."

"Oh?" Xemnas raised an unamused eyebrow, not in the least bit pleased about being crippled by an attack of underhanded proportions. "And why is that?"

"Because I'll devour anyone who gets close to me," Saix stated firmly, backing away and giving anyone around him a challenging look. He wasn't kidding now. This little fight had gone on too long for him, and he was going to eat this bowl of Froot Loops and anyone else who happened to come near him in an effort to liberate it from him.

"Yeah? How you goin to eat those loops without milk, eh wise guy?" Axel said aloud, having just made a mad dash to the kitchen and was holdin up his hand to display a carton of milk.

"Or a spoon?" Luxord added in, tossing the utensil in the air before him.

Damnit. Hadn't expected that. Saix was about to consider just eating the bowl of cereal without all that, but then that would allow certain members to press the claim of him being an animal in human disguise into play. If there was one thing he hated, it was animal jokes, and despite all his threats, it seemed very hard to get people to quite calling him an animal once they got started.

"Here's an idea, how about you forget the damn cereal, and instead allow me to interest you in some Hawaiian punch?" Saix offered calmly, cracked the knuckles of one hand.

"Or maybe _you _could forget the cereal," Lexaeus added stepping forward, cracking his much larger and louder knuckles. "And I could order you a Subway Smackwich."

"Or maybe you could all stop coming up with really shitty puns and I could just take the damn bowl after I've fried you all to death," Larxene said glaring at the two, a stream of electricity snaking around one of her arms.

"Ah, ah, ah, Larxy. That'd be a big no, no." Demyx stepped forward shaking a finger at her, to which she glared at him for doing so, making her feel as if she were a six year old being scolded by her mother.

"Right, and what are you going to do water boy? Drown me to death?"

"Didn't you ever take science? Water and electricity don't mix," Demyx threatened narrowing his eyes. "It'd really suck if you tried to fry me."

"And it'd really suck if you lost an eye." Xaldin said calmly raising a hand to grasp one of his lances as it materialized above him.

"You guys are retarded in the head," Roxas sighed, jumping down off the chair and stalking over to Saix, who growled warningly at him. The youth ignored the warning and stuck his hand demandingly out in front of him. "I'm getting that last bowl and that's _final._"

"Why's that chicken wuss?"

" 'Cause I have a Keyblade and I can do this with it!" Summoning the blade in his right hand, Roxas aimed a sharp hit at Saix' unguarded shin, catching the bowl as he flailed and skittered away, hoping he'd survive at least five seconds to eat two spoonfuls of cereal before he got the shit kicked out of him by an enraged Berserker.

"That's it. I'm rippin out your aorta and strangling you with it!" Or at least, that was his plan before Xemnas intercepted him, scooped the kid up in one arm and leveled a red light sabery blade at his face with a dead pan expression.

"You come any closer-"

"Or you'll what? Rave me to death?"

"He only protects him 'cause he likes little boys," Marluxia jeered, closing in on the man with his Scythe resting over his shoulders.

For the next few hours or so, there was a great deal of cursing, screaming, and bowl passing amongst gloved hands of various shapes and sizes. It was pretty much the usual commotion that went on at breakfast, but today seemed a bit worse than it usually was, as one particular member noted that no one seemed to take notice of their absence for the duration of the squabbling.

He actually hesitated to open the door to the dinning hall as what sounded like a dish, or some other fragile object, like Demyx of Zexion, crashed against the door and what sounded like someone being bitten by Saix, or even Roxas, screamed out from behind the door.

_Well now, looks like I'm missing one hell of a party._

And he certainly wasn't one to walk away from a good party, so, braving whatever insanity he would find himself knee deep in, he grasped the handle of the door and opened it wide onto a scene of a kind of mayhem only found in Benny Hill or Monty Python.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but there were a lot of angry black robes fighting with each other, and if it had been any other day he would've ignored it and stolen a few pancakes to take back to his room to wait out the storm, if he hadn't noticed that Xemnas, Vexen and even Lexaeus were partaking in the battle of Middle Earth type proportions. He was always interested in whatever issue was enough to make those three lose their usual calm composures and join in on the scratching, biting, screeching fest that was tearing apart the room.

At some point, Roxas ended up with a porcelain bowl and was running frantically from Saix who looked to be somewhere between Still Sane Inside Insanity and Ape Crazy. The boy tripped and fell over as the Berserker caught a hold of his ankle, sending the bowl skidding across the polished floor to stop at the feet of the new comer still standing in the doorway.

All activity at that point stopped as everyone turned their attention towards the door, eyes of various hues watching with hypnotic attention as the owner of a sea of white and black hair spilling over his shoulders, bent down to retrieve the bowl and inspected its contents, a wide grin spreading over his face as his head shot up.

"Ho man, Froot Loops, I _love_ Froot Loops! I remember I always ate these when I was a kid! These damn things are good." He looked back down at the bowl and laughed. "Man, brings back some crazy memories." He looked up suddenly, just realizing that there were about twelve people giving him some really interesting looks.

"Hey now, this…this wouldn't be the last bowl of Froot Loops would it?"

"Y-Yes Xigbar," Xemnas was the first to speak after a long heavy silence. "It is, indeed, the last bowl…last bowl of Froot Loops."

Xigbar narrowed his remaining eye, dropping his head just a touch so that his hair, which he usually kept tied back, fell over into his face, giving him a serial killer sort of look as he absently cracked the thumb and index of his left hand.

"You wouldn't be…fightin over whose gonna get the last bowl of Froot Loops…wouldja?"

"Eh…" Axel began, thinking of something to say, but it died as the Free Shooter shifted his golden eye to him, scaring whatever half-baked thought was forming on the tip of his tongue and sent it packing to cling to his uvula in fear of the Cyclops.

"No, 'course not! No, no, what a completely silly thing to be fighting over!" Luxord finished for Axel, laughing slightly, to which a few others laughed along with him to try and ease the odd tension hanging in the air like a forty pound gorilla.

"Hm…I see," Xigbar looked down at the bowl in thought before looking back up again.

" 'Cause you know, if that'd been the case, I certainly couldn't stand by and let this bowl get passed around without getting my two shots in." He emphasized his _two shots_ point by loudly cracking the thumb and index finger of the hand not holding the bowl.

"No, no…nothing, nothing like that!" Luxord swallowed a lump the size of a grapefruit that'd been suffocating him, not liking the looks of that slow grin Xigbar was letting spread over his face. The Xiggy grin was not a good grin, especially not this early in the morning, and especially if it meant that he was entertaining the prospects of joining their small battle.

"Oh." His face lost the murderous tinge to it, going to a look of surprise, and then melted into one of confusion. "So…what _were _you guys figthtin over? I could here you guys screaming two halls down." He said hooking a thumb behind him.

"We were…" Roxas started, leaning up on his elbow and looked over to Saix, who was also on the ground looking at the blonde, and they tried to come up with something between the two of them but were getting nowhere fast.

"Fighting over…" Larxene added as well, pulling at one of her antennae thoughtfully, turning an eye to Xaldin who shrugged lightly.

"We were fighting over who would be the one to present you with the last bowl of Froot Loops, Xigbar."

All eyes turned to Xemnas at that statement of decisive finality, who was looking like he was going to suffer a stroke any minute now as he swayed slightly against Lexaeus, who had his arm locked around his neck, and Zexion, who was tightly wound about his waist with his hand raised about to stab him with the dagger he'd stolen from Larxene.

"You were fightin over _that?_" Xigbar looked like he wasn't taking the bait, actually, Xemnas had a feeling Xigbar could smell bullshit a mile away, but to his immense surprise the man didn't seem to smell it this time.

"Really? You guys were fightin over who'd be the lucky little shit to give me the last bowl?"

"That's about the size of it," Vexen chocked out from around Larxene's hand around his throat. "I…er…_we _knew how much of an affinity you had for Froot Loops, and being as it was the last bowl, we were at a loss as to whom would be given the task of presenting you with the honor of consuming the last bowl of them."

"Aw, no way, you guys are fuckin with me," Xigbar shook his head with a laugh, staring up at Xemnas. "Really? That's what all this," he waved his free hand before him. "Was all about?"

"Yes," Xemnas began. "I'm afraid you've caught us all red handed."

"…Wow…I'm real surprised, I mean like…insanely surprised. You'd go through all that squabblin for me? Hell, and here I always thought you guys were all a buncha selfish bastards but…" He broke off and shook his head, looking at the assortment of people before him and cackled slightly. "You guys would actually fight over who'd do this for me? Well, I…I just don't know what to say…I guess I love you guys too! Someone come over here and gimme a hug!"

Demyx was the first to rush over and leech onto the one eyed man, not wanting an uncomfortable span of time to elapse between that rather uncomfortable request. The last thing he wanted to have happen was for Xigbar to feel unloved that people weren't rushing to give him a hug, and an unhappy Xigbar lead to a Xigbar that needed to vent his frustrations by shooting at things, preferably people. A few others followed soon after, Zexion, Roxas and even Larxene, as they came over to present the man with a very awkward sort of group hug.

"Alright, alright, get off me now, your gonna make me all watery eyed," Xigbar said shooing them off and fixing Axel with another of his predatory gazes, making the red head squirm like a worm on a hook before a smile cracked his face. "I see you got milk."

The gears in Axel's head got stuck for a moment before he looked down and raised the carton slightly with a funky sounding laugh. "Yeah, I've got…milk…Want some…milk with your…last bowl of…Froot Loops Xigbar?"

"Hell yeah, get your ass over here and top me off!"

"I have a…spoon." Luxord offered slowly, raising the utensil in the air before him as Axel finished pouring the last of his soul into that bowl.

"And you've got a spoon, hand that spoon over here blondie."

Xigbar went on talking about how he'd now seen his members in a different light, swinging his legs lazily over the edge of the table he was seated upon, and how maybe they were all just a large dysfunctional family, and not a group of criminally insane backstabbing heartless hooligans, because only a family would get together to do something special for one of their own.

They all watched and nodded, someone occasionally piping up to agree with whatever he said at the moment, as Xigbar ate, no, very excruciatingly slowly devoured the last bowl, the very last singular bowl of Froot Loops, savoring every bite with a kind of bliss that appeared as if it would be the last time he would experience this.

A few of the more desperate members, namely Demyx and Roxas were even chewing along with Xigbar, as if the motion would grant them some sort of illusionary bliss at mimicking the motions of the man that was munching down the Loops of Life, the mouthgasm to end all mouthgasms.

After the scarred Nobody had finished, and after everyone was quite sure that some small part of their non existent beings had curled into a fetal position and died along with the last loop, he smiled and slid off the table, holding the empty bowl in one hand and cracked his neck loudly.

"Well, that was a little piece of heaven in a bowl, thanks for that buddy," he said slapping Xemnas on the shoulder, who jumped about nine feet in the air, as he himself had been engaging in the desperate need to conjure up the satisfaction of being able to consume the last bowl of Froot Loops.

"Thanks? Thanks for…what?"

"Oh come on, don't be all shy like that, I know you came up with this idea, right?" Xigbar gave him a crooked smirk. "Givin Number 2 the last bowl of Froot Loops, you're like, the only one here that knows I like em so much, so much that I'd _kill_ for these things if I had too."

Xemnas just laughed nervously and smiled at him, trying to ignore the fact that Xigbar stated that he would kill for Froot Loops, which was something significantly important because Xigbar wasn't the kind of man that would kill for just anything.

"That's real sweet of you, and from someone with no heart even!"

Xemnas let out a sudden high pitched gasp that sounded as if someone had just stabbed his lung and rotated the blade three times before breaking it off in him, all due to the fact that Xigbar had once again cut another twenty years off his life as he surprised him with a hug. He even went as far as to pick the white haired man up and spin around with him in his arms in a happy Xiggy circle, before dropping him back on his feet, oblivious to the fact that Xemnas now looked much older and considerably paler, which says a great deal for someone with dark skin.

"Great idea Xemnas, great idea," he said handing the empty bowl back to the slightly shaken man. "You got no idea how mushy I feel right now, and that's sayin something comin from me. I'm not much of a mushy person."

"Yes…fabulous idea. Thank you. So glad you like it," came the mechanical response.

Xigbar sauntered off towards the door with a yawn then turned around suddenly, pointing a finger at his leader and smirked. "Know what? I think we should do this more often, you know. Like, maybe next month, the last bowl of whatever cereal gets to go to Xaldin, and then the next time around we'll let it go to Vexen. We'll go in order you know, so nobody'll feel left out and shit. How's that sound?"

"Sounds….Fine." Xemnas forced a pleasant smile. "I'll see if I can't do that."

"Wicked. Well, I'm out. I'm gonna go check out the inside of my eyelids some more…still kinda tired from bein woken up by all that screamin," Xigbar said with a yawn. "I was actually comin down here to shoot a few of you guys, you know, make a few new holes here and there so you'd all shut the hell up, but hey, it's alright, it was for a good cause I guess. Anyway, see you guys later!"

"Sleep well Xigbar!" Came the harmonized response of twelve very edgy members.

They waited until the man had made his way down the hall and around the corner before they all turned to their leader, who still had the empty bowl in his hands as he swayed slightly, the color still having yet to return to his face. He blinked suddenly as his mind registered that he was being monitored, and he stared around at the group who were expecting some sort of explanation from him.

"Oh please…don't _even_ look at me like that," he grumbled. "I know for a fact that none of us here was going to volunteer to give the correct explanation of our antics and allow him the chance to shoot at us without getting into trouble for it."

"But damnit man! You bloody well could've told him something else!"

Xemnas sighed gently and gave Luxord a tired look. "He's a man with a gun who defies gravity and has just been woken up four hours before his usual rising hour of noon. Would you honestly have wanted to deal with that if I'd told him the truth?"

There was a collective sighing and mumbling of agreement. No matter the situation, there were few among them who found the idea of letting the trigger happy Nobody a chance to shoot at them without him getting in trouble for it very appealing. It seemed that it would stand that the man with the gun would win this round once again.

With that defeat weighing on their heads, everyone began to shift around in that confused cow sort of way, trying to find something to do with themselves, and it seemed that there was a silent agreement amongst the group that they needed to avoid each other for a few days to get the bad taste of insults and paranoia out of their mouths.

"Well…I'm goin back to bed." Xaldin said straightening himself back up with a yawn.

"Sounds like a capital idea to me," Luxord said lazily making his way towards the door, tossing a pair of dice absently to himself.

"I'm stayin here," Demyx said softly, trudging his way over to his place at the table and sat down.

"You'll be eatin by yourself you know," Axel said cracking his neck and followed the others as they made their way towards the door.

"Yeah I know, I'm just gonna finish this last piece…of…Cheese….cake…"

Demyx slowly looked back up to find eleven pairs of eyes staring him down from various parts of the room, eyeing the last remaining piece of the dessert that the musician had already stuck a fork into with predatory attraction. Demyx' mouth hung open like a broken trap door as he slowly rose from the table, feeling the other members beginning to advance on him.

The blonde swallowed hard and eyed the still open door for a moment before a flurry of dark robed movement erupted within the room, and he did a Gazelle sort of leap over the table to avoid being tackled by Larxene and Roxas, ducked his head in time to avoid a spear in the face and bolted through the door screaming bloody murder as he tore down the hallway.

"Xigbaaaaar!! I saved you the last piece of Cheesecake!!

_----_

**AN: **Well that was a train wreck of a oneshot. It seemed a lot funnier in my dream, eh, but whatever, maybe somebody out there finds this as slightly amusing as I thought it was 3 hours ago. X.x


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